And the Oscar goes to...

We arrested this 23 year old blonde girl for dui.  I am watching her on the  monitor while the intoxilyzer machine warms up.    She comes in crying, almost sobbing saying something about her boss.  I think she said she was a baker and has been one for 5 years and that she is an amazing one.  Then she boo hoo cries some more.  Then I just about fell off my chair when she said her aunt died of cancer and she just broke up with a guy and more boo hoo crying.  (I know that sounds heartless of me, but it was like it was ripped out of a Lifetime channel movie).  It wasn't very convincing.   Oh and mixed in there she said she didn't want the cuban sandwich.  I am going to wager a bet that is what she went out to get before being pulled over.

She is pretty funny.

Crazy man, aisle 12

Our resident crazy man ( I really shouldn't say this, but he acts that way.  Something like Agent Orange or other happened to him to make him paranoid) Anyway, he is always calling when he is off of his meds that he is patrolling the area and gives us reports of what is going on.  We were really busy with a chick fight at Caddy's (I'll blog later on that) and I just didn't have the time to deal with him.  So I said P.... I don't have time.  He doesn't like to be told this because he feels he is working for us and started to yell and get cranky, so I did something I hadn't done before.  I said I am working on a high security issue of the utmost importance right now.  He said, got it bye! and hung up.  You just have to know how to speak their language.

OOOHHH I am telling your motheeerrrrr

On a beach run (the officers do this periodically throughout the day) about 2am (the beach is closed from 1am-5am) the sergeant saw two people on the beach.  He was just going to tell them that the beach was closed and to move along without getting out of the car, but the girl threw something. (not at the officer).  The sergeant asked what she threw and she adamantly said nothing.  He said, don't lie to me, what did you throw?  She said, I don't know what you're talking about. 

He gets out of his cruiser and I.D.'s them both.  He is 18 and she is 15.  It was a beer can that she threw.  A Busch beer can, blech!  She also finally admitted to drinking 3 shots.  So the 18 year old gets a verbal warning for being on the beach and she gets to take a car ride to the pd.  Mom is called, mom is a lawyer and is in total shock that her daughter is out of the house, let alone at a police station. 

You should have seen this girl, she looked to be between 21-25 and that was just from her driver's license.  The way she was dressed was unreal and that's coming from someone who used to dress with as little as possible when I had the shape for it. 

Her mother came in and spoke with the sergeant.  She said she is pretty strict and again was shocked that this was happening.  The girl was brought out and lied to the mother saying she hadn't been drinking.  Then of course she admitted to how much she actually drank.  I was really surprised how calm the mother was.  I wondered if she got smacked around as soon as they left the lobby.

Weird sex stuff part 2

An Amber Alert from Tennessee came through the teletype.  It was quite long and had many players.  First there is this scum bag piece of shit 51 year old man that kidnapped his girlfriend's 2 children, 3 and 4 year old boy and girl.  But two days before he kidnapped them, he was in Missouri and kidnapped his 16 year old niece and her 3 month old daughter, who happens to be the scum bag's biological daughter.....okay, now if you're back from throwing up, realize where this came from, the south.  I hope they find them and put his ass in jail.

Wierd sex stuff

This woman and her 20 year old son and others came into the lobby to make a harassment complaint.  She lived in Gulfport and I asked where the harassment was happening and she said everywhere.  I said, well, how is it happening.  Her son found 2 dogs last week that belonged to a person in T.I. The dog owner was now going on facebook and saying this kid stole her dogs to get reward money and was having sex with her dogs. 

There was a lost dog and then a recovered dog report made by her last week.  With the recovered dog she apprarently showed the officer how they would have had sex with the dog.  The dog's nipples were sore and had some sort of rug rash on her front paws.  She also opened the dogs vagina to show that it was red and swollen.  While the officer was there, the dog started rubbing her underside on the ground outside which would account for all the issues the dog was having.

I sent the woman and her son on their way and they were going back to Gulfport to make a harassment report.  Then they will be going to civil court to try and get a restraining order on the woman.  Sheesh!